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This anger was either a source of strength or self-destruction

At first I heard mumbling, then a little muffled laughter, then nothing. They must have been kissing good-bye. Then some more laughter and Marco’s deep voice. This kind of interaction was so foreign to me that they might as well have been from a different planet, never mind a different caste. I had the faucet on at a trickle in case I got caught. Then they took a break from kissing, because they were talking plenty now.

“How much do you think he weighs?” Marco asked. They must have been analyzing Frank, Kelly’s favourite disappointment.

“Two hundred?”

“Really?” he said shocked. “I didn’t think it was that much.”

I was shocked, too. Frank must have weighed more than two hundred.

“No, couldn’t be. I forbid it.” Marco was good at echoing sophistication. Then he added, “No one weighs that much at his age.” He laughed.

“You’re right. That’s too much. He’s just a little round. Maybe he’ll grow out of it soon.”
“I hope so. He’s always had a problem with it.”

“He looks like he’s lost some. He’s been playing in the woods.”

“Yeah, he needs to get into shape bad.”

“I guess he’s trying,” she said. “I’ve been there, and it’s not like snapping your fingers.”

“He could have a cardio arrest someday.”

“Well, he’s got a really bad role model in this house.”

Then there was silence punctuated only by purring. They were back to kissing, while I stood waiting for my cardio arrest. It seemed possible at that moment.

“Him in the attic still weirds me out,” Marco said.

“What was he doing with that monk’s uniform on?”

“I don’t know. But really it was my father’s fault. He probably built the cheapest house he could.”
“You have to admit it’s a little strange.”

“He’s okay.” Kelly said. “He’s still a boy. I just wish he could keep his mouth closed once in a while.”

It was something other than heart failure. Instead, it was a feeling that didn’t happen to me often. I’d never had much of a temper, but now I could feel something hot and urine-like bubbling under my skin. It was suicide to stop this, but it had to be stopped. My best friend was no longer my best friend and now he was discussing me like I was some perverted kid who lived in the apartment next door. This anger was either a source of strength or self-destruction. It didn’t matter because it felt right. It was terrible, and heavy at the same time, but for once I was mad instead of injured.

Extract from the book Dough Boy
by Peter Marino

All Rights Reserved
New York : Holiday House, c2005.
Call Number: Y MAR

Extract submitted by Fee Muen

Recommended Reads
Available at NLB

Title: Skinny
by Ibi Kaslik
Call Number: Y KAS

Title: One fat summer
by Robert Lipsyte
Call Number: Y LIP

Title: Kim: empty inside : the diary of an anonymous teenager
by Beatrice Sparks
Call Number: Y KIM

Have you ever thought yourself overweight? Does it lower your self esteem?

 

 

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7 Responses to “This anger was either a source of strength or self-destruction”

  1. Megan Says:

    Yes, it does.I do not like being overweight
    ’cause my friends may not like me, and I will feel very lonely.

  2. Kor Wan Ting Says:

    I do not like behg over weight because when I grow up, i could married

  3. YP Says:

    We think too much about our weight to the point where we don’t recognise any other good qualities we may have.

  4. Kristina Says:

    I also don’t like being overweight as my friends will make fun of me and I will not fit into tight costumes,and I might run very slow.

  5. jonathan lien Says:

    I am freakin fat. no I am proud of who I am

  6. victoria Says:

    There is no need to think - I am overweight. I am also not going to make a lot of noise about it because I know that if I really want to be slim then I have the power to change it. Nobody else can do it for me except me myself. So the day it affects my self - esteem, I have to do what I’ve got to do. I got to really want it badly.

  7. Almosttrue Says:

    You go gal/pal! That’s the way to do it! Exercise n good dietary habit. Wait - what’s the question again…..

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