“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand” – Mark Twain
 |
| Image: All Rights Reserved, |
| New York:St. Martin’s Griffin |
| c2007 |
Now I understood why my parents had tried to fix me before. I was six weeks old when they first noticed my birthmark. There it was one day, having surfaced out of nowhere like an unexplained bruise. The paediatrician was certain I’d outgrow it. But instead, the hemangioma continued to grow, and by the time I was a year old, my entire right eye was discoloured and twice the size of the other one. Before the age of five, I’d undergone four unsuccessful operations. All they did was leave a few tiny scars on my lid where there should have been a fold. After the last surgery, my father started buying thick medical books that he stacked on the floor of his office. He subscribed to half a dozen medical journals, searching for something that could help.
I grew up with strangers staring at me, coming to my mother in the supermarket, in line at the post office – wherever – asking what had happened to my eye. “Did she fall? Was she in an accident?” My mother would wave them off, her voice dismissive. “Yes, yes, she was in an accident.”
My father’s approach was different. Whenever someone asked about my eye, he’d come back with something like “Aw hell, you should see the other guy.” He said this was easier than going into the whole story. Besides, it always got a laugh.
Extract from the book Every Crooked Pot
By Renee Rosen
All Rights Reserved.
New York : St. Martin’s Griffin, c2007
Call No.: Y English ROS
Extract contributed by Tung Ai Jui
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Do you think adopting a sportive or humorous outlook prepares you to deal with challenges you face in life?
June 22nd, 2012 at 2:54 pm
In a marriage, a thousand things could go wrong. For example, when my husband forgets to make up the bed in the morning, I could adopt 2 approaches: (1) “You are a lazy man and you spoil my day by ignoring my wishes” or (2) “I will make the bed for you but you make me a good cup of coffee and top it with kisses instead?” Nothing spoils the day more than a fight, often times over a trivial matter. To me, it’s a skill to learn how to adopt a sportive or humorous outlook because in our society, getting angry is usually the automatic response. Somehow we are in-built with an angry firing mechanism but we are ill-equipped with a mechanism that spouts humour and defuses tension. I am far from being the perfect humour-spouting spouse but I can always try my best.
June 22nd, 2012 at 9:38 pm
definitely!laughter is the best medicine in life,whether in troubles or happiness a smile could always make a person’s day.my father works as a customer service officer.everyday he faces various types of customers.ranging from demanding ones to the extreme ones.yet,why is it that singapore emphasises on the need to always smile.a little humour goes a long way.during the examination period,life could be very stressful.all day my nose would be buried in my stack of books.my mom would come in everynight and say”watch your nose!” all these just make my night!
June 23rd, 2012 at 11:55 am
This is indeed an interesting article that sets us thinking about how we can deal with daily circumstances.
I remember how I used to be reactive and always ready to fight back whenever I perceived someone trying to hurt me with words. I become unpleasantly sensitive and often retorted with sarcasm. With maturity over the years, and the wonderful books that I have read, I learn not to be so reactive. No matter how inconsiderate some people are with their words, they are basically, just that, inconsiderate and really meant no harm. It is indeed an art to look at things with humour and turn an otherwise tense moment into something humourous with some creativity.
Just lighten up and life can be so much more fun if we are less sensitive and learn to laugh at ourselves.
June 23rd, 2012 at 12:03 pm
The National Library has a great collection of inspirational books that teach us to lighten up and how we can be less reactive.
One example will be Stephen Covey’s ‘the 7 habits of Highly Effective People’ in which was a chapter on ‘Be proactive rather than reactive.’
Another book that has helped me is ‘Do not suffer the small stuff’. I have forgotten the name of the writer though.
June 26th, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Hm this sounds like a theme of generation gap and how poor communication can lead to problems. I think it is essential to understanding others too, and it is so frustrating like this character is not feeling understood.
Being humorous enhances creativity! Just look how comedians do their job! Paulo Coelho and the 158.1 section shows how to use humour to deflect misery and improve quality of life.
July 11th, 2012 at 11:31 pm
Great article. I have to concur with you that laughter is indeed the best medicine. Keep up the good work!
July 14th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
This book is indeed a good read as it reflects the life of a teenager being ostracized by her fellow school mates. In the book, she tries hard to fit into the school but without avail. This has led her to be in despair and unhappiness. I can relate to her well, the feeling of not being understood, and also judged based on appearance. The feeling of not being understood can be related by most people, where what they do and say can be disregarded by others.One example is when the main character was constantly asked if she fell in public, when her eye had a natural patch of red.
August 9th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Rather than being pessimistic, a sportive and humorous outlook gives us an optimistic perception of the challenges we face. This can motivate us to courageously face our challenges, rather than backing out or giving up. If we adopt a more humorous outlook, we are able to better view the bright side of life, allowing us to better enjoy life. Like Nina, the main character of the book, she initially hated the birthmark on her eye, but later realised the benefits it was able to bring her.
August 9th, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Yes, I do believe that having a humorous outlook does prepare us to deal with challenges in our lives. Its the mentality that matters most for most of the challenges that we face in our lives and its the positive metality that we can surely overcome it that tides us through the worst of challenges, not so much of our ability. Instead of complaining and whining with a negative outlook when we face challenges, being strong and thinking positive does make things much easier. When we believe that we can and we will be able to do it, we will really be able to do it. Like The Secret says,you attract what you think, so if we are positive, we can in fact attract all the positive things in life as well. So put on a smile and a positive attitude when faced with challenges in life, for these will get us through them with much more ease.
August 9th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
I agree that having a humourous outlook allows us to better face the challenges in life. What is done cannot be undone. Rather than crying over split milk and making ourselves feel bad, having a positive mindset allows us to better face the challenges ahead of us. Our way of life is determined by our perception of the things we face. Whether we adopt a negative or positive outlook of life, things will still remain the same, so it would be much better to face things with a smile. Doing so would make your life much better and happier!
August 10th, 2012 at 12:23 am
Every crooked pot. This story revolves around a girl whom has an aesthetic imperfection. She used to be pessimistic and not confident in herself, but she has learnt to overcome all of her insecurities by looking at things from another perspective. Her positive outlook has helped her to lead a better life, as she no longer dwells on the imperfect side of life, but rather, becomes grateful for what she has. Her positive attitude is something that lacks in most of us. Most of us would tend to focus more on what we are lacking than what we have, resulting in us becoming depressed. As the secret says, you attract what you think. It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we have a positive mindset, we subconsciously tell ourselves that we are capable of completing the task, and ultimately, we get the desired end product. The reverse is true as well. We should face everyday with a positive mindset and start everyday on a good note.
August 10th, 2012 at 6:14 pm
I think that adopting a sportive or humorous outlook is key to preparing ourselves to deal with challenges faced in life. Many a time, we are challenged to complete difficult tasks and go through negative situations. In the process, it is inevitable that we feel unhappy, disappointed and even depressed. We may then be inclined to react negatively but that only would only worsen things. Inserting humour into negative situations would dilute the negative thoughts that we have. When we appreciate what is making us smile instead of blame the entire challenge for giving us a hard time, there is the sudden realization that not everything is as bad as it seems. When that happens, we are able to focus more on what is working instead of what is going wrong and continue with our work. Finding the humourous side of every negative situation is thus essential for us to deal with challenges faced in life.
August 10th, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Do you think adopting a sportive or humorous outlook prepares you to deal with challenges you face in life?
Certainly, I think that adopting a sportive or humorous outlook prepares me to deal with challenges I face in life as it completely changes the way one looks at things thus enabling one to grow stronger in life. Despite the numerous setbacks that I experience in life, I think that I should not just give up but should instead look at the positive side of things. Sometimes, some might even contend that a positive and humorous outlook is the only thing that one needs to excel in life. As seen in the example of Doctor William Tan of Singapore. Despite contracting polio at the age of two and was paralyzed from the waist down and constantly bullied by his classmates in school, he faced his life positively, did not allow himself to settle down in mediocrity and in fact fought back by proving to others that he is good academically and won scholarships to study at Harvard and Oxford. In April 2007, Dr Tan even became the first man to complete the North Pole marathon on wheelchair. Clearly, it is evident how adopting a positive mindset could efficiently allow one who is challenged by physical disabilities to unleash and maximize his potential, ultimately rising above all difficulties. Indeed, Dr Tan has managed to turn adversity to advantage and made his dream of being a doctor and sportsman come true. Thus, one could see how much a sportive or humorous outlook could influence oneself to overcome the perplexing vagaries of life and therefore, I feel that adopting a sportive or humorous outlook does prepare me to deal with challenges I face in life as it completely changes the way one looks at things, thus enabling one to grow stronger in life.
August 10th, 2012 at 10:49 pm
I think that adopting a sportive or humorous outlook certainly prepares us for the challenges in our life. In life, there are many problems we face and it all depends on the way we deal with it. Some people are able to overcome it while some may dwell upon a certain issue and never could they let go. I feel that as teenagers, we are in the stage of figuring who we really are. We try to conform to certain standards in school, strive to meet the expectations of our teachers and parents, but never do we pause to think about who we really are. We tend to be moulded into what others expect of us instead of who we see ourselves are. Due to the environment we live in and the pressure we face by our parents, teachers or friends, it is hard to identify ourselves as individuals because we are merely what others want us to be. This need to fit in may be subjected to the judgment of our peers and even people whom we do not know. Due to the fear of how others perceive us, we feel the pressure of living up to their expectations.
In my opinion, overcoming the need to conform is the greatest challenge we face as teenagers. We may be influenced and forced to mould ourselves to what others want us to be because our outlook on life. A sportive or humorous outlook enables us to be more easy-going and not take all matters to heart. If we constantly dwell on the things which happened and not let go, it only makes it difficult to go on in life.
With a sportive or humorous outlook, we are better able to deal with challenges since we can bounce back easily from setbacks. Each time as we overcome a challenge, we are toughened for the next one. As life is never a smooth-sailing journey, a sportive or humorous outlook in life would carry us far since we are able to find joy in more things than unhappiness in those we are unable to solve.
August 10th, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Yes, I definitely feel that a sportive and humorous outlook is necessary to deal with challenges we face in life. With a humorous outlook, people would definitely be able to take things more positively, as they tend to be able to see the happy and funny side of things. With a positive outlook, these people would become more ready and willing to face challenges in life. During our lives, we would definitely be faced with many challenges. Whether we choose to deal with them with a positive or negative attitude would be entirely up to us.
From what I observed in our daily lives, having a positive or humorous outlook would not necessarily mean that challenges become easily to solve, or problems become less complicated. However, people with humorous outlooks tend to be able to remain happy even as they are faced with challenges, and are also able to influence people around them positively, especially when working in a team. This leads the whole team to become more motivated and willing to face the challenges faced. On the other hand, a person who is unable to see the happy and funny side of things not only becomes unhappier when faced with problems, but also tends to affect the moods of people around them negatively as well. Therefore, adopting a sportive or humorous outlook indeed does prepare us to deal with the challenges faced in life, and would benefit the people around us as well.
August 12th, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Adopting a sportive humorous outlook in life does not help you solve challenges, but at least it helps you take on a positive attitude towards it. A person who could easily brush off an insult with a humourous reply just shows that he or she does not take things too hard and is able to move on with life, unlike some others who are often hit by small challenges in life, fall and are unable to climb back up again. It reflects how important the attitude we choose to take is.
Often, the crux in dealing with challenges is not whether we have the ability to solve it, but how we choose to view it. A person only faces depression, not because he is unable to solve the challenge faced but because he is unable to get over it. Thinking about it repeatedly in a negative manner will not resolve the problem. Instead, we have to take on a sportive or humourous outlook, believing that it is nothing big and sooner or later, we will overcome it and if it’s a problem we cannot do anything to solve it, just let it go and laugh it off, because there will always be more to come.
August 19th, 2012 at 9:41 pm
Live, Laugh, Love. I would say that someone who does not laugh has not lived his life because there is no joy in his life. Adopting a sportive or humorous outlook definitely prepares you for not only challenges one will face in life but also everything that life may bring. It does not enlighten you on how to overcome these challenges but tells you almost surely that there is a solution to every challenge that comes your way. Personally, I would love to have such people around me in life because of the humour that they inject into the lives of all the people around them and I respect them. The fact that they are able to laugh brings to light the very fact that they are able to put their worries away temporarily and enjoy the moment. This shows they can take things light-heartedly and take time to share pleasantries amidst the hustle and bustle of the life we have now. This outlook also allows a person to present himself as amicable and approachable to others, which is essential in life. This is also a great asset to them because it will greatly aid them in making new acquaintances. If these outlooks, coupled with a presentable appearance, I believe, would get one far in life.
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